转帖，小号倍高音C的顶尖秘籍

roseduan1998

最近你有没有问过自己这问题——“我怎么才能吹出倍高音C呢？”
小号倍高音C的顶尖秘籍
释放被你憋屈着倍高音C吧！

乔恩·布朗希威戈（Jon Brunschwig）/文 海瑞两千（tangboqi） 译

下面，你就会发现通向呼啸着的倍高音C的秘密了！不要把这秘密分享给任何人， 换句话说，我们还要把它拿走的，把乔恩·布朗希威戈现存唯一一版的《小号高音C速成法》埋到某个苏格兰荒原（Scottish Moor）上去。
步骤一：找到你倍高音C的气息
坐在椅子上，你得像个戴着一顶重重的王冠（这是必要的支撑）的国王似的。这姿势是开发你飚上倍高音C能力的关键。一旦你把握了“国王”的姿势，即就着这个姿势俯身将你的腹部贴向你的膝盖，并抓住你的脚踝。然后，借着这深深的就像是你拖着一大袋子死狗上山一样的气促感，你就开始找寻你的倍高音C吧。 当你终于马上就需要做这个气息练习的时候，要好好回忆一下这感觉是怎样的，这你才能在小号上吹出几个呼啸着的倍高音C。不妨把你每次做这练习的感受记录下来。每天重复做6次这个练习，共20分钟。
步骤二：学会把握倍高音C的“抓手”
在小号上演奏倍高音C的关键，是要有一股坚如磐石的“握力”。最好的体验方式，是练习握橘子，直到把它们握爆。乔恩·布朗希威戈通常喜欢一早上起来就开始“报销”上20-43个橘子。听起来是不是很奢侈？谁在乎呢！一旦当你因你的有着倍高音C的小号录音而开始收敛版税支票的时候，你就会把上**元的庆贺蛋糕切成一条一条的。 一旦你利用橘子参透了倍高音C功夫的“抓手”，就把它移植到小号上去。“抓手”大概就像：你要击毙你大爷家后院的一条患了狂犬病的羊驼，抓住来复枪那样的有力。但实际上，你不能把小号抓得太紧来吹奏倍高音C。
步骤三：在小号上演奏你的第一个倍高音C
拿起你的小号（w/ Schillke 14a4a 号嘴），运用你的新的倍高音C的“抓手”。把小号放至你的双唇，来一个“倍高音C式”的深呼吸（记住：要尽可能地挺胸，一定不要用你的横膈膜），当你尽你所能用力吹的时候，尽可能聚集你身体里的每一股力量。想象你曾经爱过的每一个人身上都着火了，眼下，火焰正在吞噬着他/她们的肉体，所以，你必须把火吹灭。尽可能一直保持强有力的吹，就好像：房间里充溢着肉体烧焦的气味，如果你不可劲吹，他/她们就要统统痛苦地死去。 数月之内，你就该听到倍高音C飞速地冲出你的小号了。不要担心你是否会晕倒，因为，即使你的头撞到桌子或者椅子上，你也很快就会有做够的钱支付医院的账单了。 如果你没有看见你家邻居的够立即咆哮起来，就重新从步骤一开始。下次再加把劲儿，说不定你也能成为一位倍高音C的英雄。 回家准备演奏高音小号吧！


Have you asked yourself recently "How can I play a double high C?" Top-Secret Double C Trumpet Method Unlock your hidden DOUBLE HIGH C!
Below you will find the secret to a SCREAMING double C! Do not share this secret with anyone or we will take it away and bury the only existing copy of Jon Brunschwig's insanely easy Double C Trumpet Method under a Scottish Moor.Step 1: Find Your Double High C Breath Sit down in a chair as if you were a king with a very heavy crown that needs support. This posture is key to developing your blistering double high C! Once you've achieved "The King" posture, bend forward so your stomach tocuhes your knees and grab your ankles. Then begin to find your double C breath by panting deeply as if you have just carried a sack of dead dogs up a mountain. Try to remember how this feels as you will eventually need to do this breathing exercise immediately before it's time to let out some screeching double Cs on trumpet. Perhaps keep a journal of how you feel each time you do this exercise. Repeat 6 times daily for 20 min.Step 2: Learn the Double High C Trumpet Grip The key to playing a Double High C on Trumpet is a rock-solid vice grip. The best way to learn is by practicing squeezing oranges until they burst. Jon Brunschwig Jon Brunschwig generally likes to start the day by obliterating 20-43 oranges. Sound expensive? Who cares! You'll be shredding hundred dollar bills on your ice cream as a topping once you start collecting royalty checks from your double C trumpet recordings! Once you've mastered the Double C kung-fu vice grip using oranges, move on to your trumpet. Grab it as hard as you might grab and rifle if you were going to shoot a rabid alpaca in your uncle's backyard. Basically, you can't grab the trumpet too hard to play a double high c.Step 3: Playing Your First Double C on Trumpet Pick up your trumpet (w/ Schillke 14a4a mouthpiece) using your new double high C grip. Put the trumpet to your lips, take a deep double C breath (remember to push out your chest as much as possible and do NOT use your diaphragm) and squeeze every muscle in your body as tightly as possible while blowing as hard as you possibly can. Imagine everyone you have ever loved is on fire and you have to blow out the flames, which are currently scorching their flesh. Keep blowing as hard as possible, pretending that the smell of burning flesh is filling the room and if you do not blow harder they will all die painful deaths. Within moments, you should hear a blistering double high C exploding out of your trumpet. Don't worry if you pass out because you'll soon have enough money to cover the hospital bills if you happen to hit your head on a table or chair. If you don't see your next-door nei**or's dog immediately explode, return to step 1. Try harder next time and maybe you too can become a double C hero Go home to get ready to play high notes trumpet.

徐浩

觉得很荒唐，很不了解。不过试下也无妨。